I follow my friend’s blog the simple life. I have her blog on my side bar. I am constantly in awe of her ability to take and apply parenting strategies to her family and do it so well! She is articulate, organized and structured. I wish I could be half as organized. I can make lists to stay on task and this works well most the time. Sadly, I am the person who leaves their cell phone in the fridge and can not find it for a couple days in a row. This of course leads to my mom assuming I am dead and e-mailing 20 times in a singular day panicked. While I am admitting my flightiness it might be a good time to confess that I drift off in the middle of most conversations. I have a friend that laughed when I confessed this. She said, “I noticed!” I did not realize it was so obvious. Sigh.
A month ago my structured lady-friend posted on sibling rivalry, at my request! I appreciate this immensely. One of her suggestions to alleviate sibling rivalry is increasing one-on-one time with children in the family. This appears SO simple! Well, for some of us. Others of us think about it, how great it is, and then get distracted by something else…
I am not consistent about one-on-one time. In the past my one-on-one time has been limited to very simple tactics. I switch off which child I lie down next to at night to help them sleep (this doubles to stop the goofing off thus getting them to sleep faster). Another simply tactic is if one daughter has a play date at our house I focus on the other daughter. Usually this means playing a game or, more often than not, cooking/baking. Play dates at our house often lead to cookies, cupcakes and muffins.
In fact, most my original gluten free baking happened while Beezus and her best friend played with dolls in our sunroom. Ramona and I would be hard at work in the kitchen making sweets. I do think this has been a great trick at keeping peace during play dates, combining cooking with kids, and just plain creating fun memories.
Today my lucky Ramona went to a birthday party where she got to see a play of “Beauty and the Beast” done by a local private high school. One of the girls in the play was a babysitter we have started using. (In fact one awesome change in our lives since being here – we have at least three reliable babysitters!)
Conveniently this gave Beezus and me four hours of undisturbed time – which I originally planned on using towards errands. As we were getting ready to leave this morning Beezus stomps her foot and says, “I do not want to go grocery shopping while RAMON gets to go to a birthday party.” This statement was accompanied by folded arms and a tilted head, not to mention a haughty tone.
It was in this moment that I remember the local zoo was having a Cinco de Mayo celebration, complete with music, arts, crafts and a piñata. Therefore… right after dropping off Ramona at her birthday party we skipped our chores. We grabbed some GF treats at the local super market and went to the zoo! Beezus’s father, who had been away on business for most the week, got into the airport earlier than expected took a taxi directly to the zoo and spent most the day with us.
While I was out I started to think, get distracted, by all the chores I needed to do with what I call, "the running list". Geeze, later in the week I need to, later in the month I need to, still have not picked a book for book club, what will I make for dinner... In the meantime I was missing that Beezus was telling me all about her new video game. Then I remember the mindfulness practice I have been doing – which insists we stay present in the moment and appreciate it. I started asking Beezus questions about the game, instead of thinking about chores. I kept interested, involved and we had a good discussion.
Today my oldest daughter – a girl who is very anxious - smiled, laughed and talked freely. I very rarely see her just plain relax and today she did. I could tell how truly special she felt. When kids are babies they give that special smile to their parents effortlessly and it just so pure. As they get older, I am finding, it is harder to get that smile. Today was full of them. It felt great and Beezus felt special and important!
When my girls reconnected at the end of their different adventures there was no fighting they simply sat down and recanted their days. It was sweet to watch.
Today I am grateful for the simple life's author. I am grateful for the great weather. It was 60 and it was hot! It felt like 80 outside. I am grateful for the mariachi band, the GF ice cream chocolate bar treats, my man meeting us at the zoo (so we did not have to cut the day short to get him), the merry-go-round and chocolate strawberries!
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