"Sleeping is giving in..."

I am extremely lucky to be able to take off for an entire month and travel up and down the California coast. I am not unaware of this and I treasure this luxury. I also consider it our Midwest trade off agreement. I will live in the Midwest, but I get to travel in return.

However, my luck has always stopped at sleep. I do not sleep so well in general, when I am traveling I do not sleep much at all. This last week I was expected to share a bed with my lovely daughters. If I had a hard time sleeping before... I had an impossible time last week! My girls could not be more opposite in sleeping style, while at the same time both are perfectly effective at keeping their bedmate wide awake.

Beezus, as is her way, will literally sock you in the middle of the night if she feels you infringe on her turf. I can not be within a foot of her with out a sharp wake up call in the form of one of her stick-ly knees or elbows in my side or back. I wonder now if she stays so petite to keep her night time jabs finely pokey. My face has been sore for the last month or so, which makes me overly paranoid about bumping into things, much less getting sucker punched in the middle of the night by my 8 year old, somewhat rigid daughter. One night she came at me with a right hook, accompanied by childish, groggy profanity and a demand that I leave the bed. She did not have to ask me twice and I am left to again feel anxious for her future husband's welfare.

I switched over to Ramona’s side of the bed. My cute baby and the cuddlier of the family. I was completely sure that we she would share her side of the bed with me. I was right, she was more than happy to share – mommy sleeping next to her was the highlight of the vacation. What I did not plan on was how the enthusiasm to share bed space would assert itself. Ramona, as it turns out, loves company in bed and wants to spoon. At first this is very cute. She wiggles up close and wraps her little arms around me. Eventually I get tired and hot! I am balancing on the edge of the bed to begin with and the more she cuddles in the more I feel myself tipping out. Although I continually untangled her clingy appendages some how I would find that I had a surprisingly strong six year old arms wrapped around me and, as if that was not enough, her leg slung over my hip. Kinda like sleeping with a very sweet parasite.

Well, I spent most of Tahoe on the sofa upstairs right next to the kitchen… so that when my mom got up bright and early I had a great spot to hear the coffee maker start up!

Sitting in the morning sun...

Today my hair dresser implored me to “name one thing you like about South Dakota.” I hesitated which he took as humor. However, to clarify, my hesitation was because I knew the answer immediately and I did not want to insult any Californians I know. Or my hair dresser who I only sorta know.

Unfortunately ever since I moved to South Dakota there is a constant comparison. I do not like to compare two places that are both dear to me. It reminds me of all the parenting books I have read about not labeling our children and navigating sibling rivalry. I get visuals of my two states getting complexes and needing expensive therapies or getting attitude and storming off. However, everything I know is held up and measured out in new terms…

And the answer to his question is without a doubt, the people. I love the people in South Dakota.

South Dakotans are a community. A strong community. I am not sure I ever understood community before I moved there (though my kids school program before we moved was close). When I was at my lowest in South Dakota complete strangers came out of no where to help and make me feel more at home. I never want to generalize too much. There are some great, really great, Californians I know. But it is in South Dakota that I am learning through example how to be a better community member – which I know I have a lot of work to do to achieve.

Whenever I try to understand it better all I can come up with is there is a smaller population, harsher weather and people rely on each other more for support. Maybe in California we are to dispensable to each other – we can hide from social responsibility in our large population assuming we are anonymous.

So Californians tonight I say be a little less snide next time you refer my other home – we Californians do not have it all figured out yet.