My hope is always to report how swell the move is going and how well we are all adjusting. Right now it seems we have half the family doing well and half the family struggling. Sadly Beezus and I are not adjusting the way I would have hoped. On the flip side Ramona is quite pleased and my man seems sufficiently satisfied.
Beezus misses her life in California. She misses her grandma. She misses her friends. She misses her teacher. Beezus avidly dislikes the snow and cold. I can tell this takes a toll on her father and though I try to remain strong in front of her - constantly reassuring her that we can visit California in the summer, that we can find fun things to do here, that she will make new friends and the weather will get better - secretly I feel her pain. Part of it is seeing her in so much grief and frustration. Part of it is I knowing all to well how she feels. And then there is the irritating helplessness that I can not just pack up and move back.
It isn’t the move itself or the location. There are many nice things about South Dakota and a change of life pace. The sky is in fact “larger” here. The sunrises and sets are beautiful. I actually like the cold and enjoy watching the snow fall. The financial relief and healthcare don’t hurt either. There are plenty of gluten free options. The people are talkative and friendly. I have never seen so many kids and babies. Also, it is very 1950s America. Most kids walk to school and home from it - including kindergarteners! (Which is great for natives, but I will stick with my “city” roots and walk my kids in and out of their school). All the backyards are shared. There seems to be a strong sense of community.
The problem is there is just nothing familiar. Everything we are surrounded by is a constant reminder that we aren’t in Kansas anymore. It is in the accents, the language nuisances, the food, the different stores, the traffic etc. Even the things that make it nice, just reiterate the differences.
Presently Beezus’s struggle is daily and any resolve I have crumbles the second the kids are in bed. So, right now Beezus and I are in search of the familiar. A security we can visit when things just get to be too much.
Our goals to fix this are simple and yet tough.
1. Break into a community.
How to do this is a little beyond me. None of the parents, or very few, walk their kids in and out of the school. Few parents here volunteer. Thus far meeting other parents has presented some difficulties. We will start with some play dates now that our boxes are finally unpacked.
There is also a large religious community, but not a large Jewish one. So, I am stuck trying to decide if we should look into attending an organized religion – as apposed to the loose based faith we practice at home.
2. Next we find a hobby or routine to “ground us”.
Ramona is truly blessed to have a passion for gymnastics. Luckily there are several nice facilities in town. This has made her adjustment awesome, because she has something extremely positive to look forward to all week. I could not be happier for her. It is magical to watch her. I love seeing the complete elation on her face while she balances on the beam or jumps on a trampoline. The pride I feel in her during that one hour is astonishingly powerful. True happiness is watching your kids doing something they enjoy.
What I would not give for Beezus to have something she can enjoy as much. Beezus has always had a love for dance and has in the past had dance lessons. She adores Angelina Ballerina books and has often proclaimed she will be a famous dancer some day. Sadly, her health has worked against her in all things physical. However, I have found a dance studio here that might work out for her. Hopefully her body doesn’t work against her. So we will be starting dance up next week. Cross your fingers!
3. Find some friends… of course this just takes time. However, I feel like I just need to meet ANYONE. I am a rather social person and I have been feeling really cooped up and soooo lonely. I began to start hanging off my man’s poor secretary the other day. I just kept talking on and on with her. My man sort of had to drag me away. Later that day I started contemplating going to a movie with her. My man had to point out it might not be the best person to hang out with since she works for him. I am still not sure that matters per say, but I will hold off a little longer before I ask. She is my age and does have kids that are my kids age.
For now Beezus and I are lucky enough to both be animal people. It would be an understatement to suggest that our pets are our security. I will fall back again on how (despite the hard time I give them) our furry friends have been an absolute blessing. The unconditional love and companionship of our pets have offered comfort and a sense of home. I have to just be thankful they are here safe and sound. Athena and Squirrel in particular have truly aided Beezus and I each day at our weakest of moments.
Anyway… not the most fun of posts, but an honest one. I hope to post next that we are more integrated, grounded and have made some friends.
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