IPad

I have been known to be down on the technology kids own today. Beezus comes home from school telling me all her friends have iPhones, iPads and iPod touches. I hope she is misunderstanding them. The idea of six to nine year olds with their own iPad makes me shudder. 

I remember my parents had a typewriter for writing until I hit middle school and email was new to me in high school (mid 1990s).  I also played outside after school and swam all summer long, rarely did I sit and watch TV.  I know this is typical when I was your age I had to walk to school in the snow!  technophobic thinking.  Or is it...

The obesity epidemic is indisputably known to be impacted by childrens' television time. Too many sedentary kids binge eating in front of technology.  Kids and adults are known to eat more in front of the TV and to eat less healthily.  Violent video games, movies and television are known to cause de-sensitization to violence in real life.  Images in magazines, music videos, advertisements, TV shows and movies lambaste our daughters with the role of what 'feminity' is by today's multi-billion dollar CEO industry standards.

In my own home I can think of more than a couple examples where movies, advertisements, video games and TV have impacted my daughters negatively.   Over the summer we did a lot of activities, but I was also a lot pregnant, so there was significantly more video game and media time in general.  My kids were exposed to Lego Harry Potter, Indiana Jones and Star Wars.  I felt safe knowing there was no blood (Legos just broke apart) and that there was a good deal of problem solving within the games.  However, you combine those video games with their movies counterparts and suddenly my kids are playing more violent pretend games, the females in their games get more and more sexy and helpless, and less, and less real.  I mean, how often, as a rather typical specimen of female, do I swoon around my house half naked and cry for some man to save me - try never.  Okay, let me stop there, because this where I get off track and start lecturing the world on feminism.

All this being stated... I love the iPad.  The iPad is awesome.  I know, I know, I should have prepared you more for my change of heart.  On the last night of Chanukah my man handed me a package, which looked a lot like a box of candy.   I love my man, I do, but often candy has nuts in it and I can only have a couple pieces of the non-nut chocolates, so I put it to the side while everyone else opened their Chanukah presents.  Well, at the end of the night my kids and my man turn to me and say, "you have not opened you present yet."  I put on my best face (the I-swear-I-will-look-grateful-and-happy-face) and start to unwrap a white box... and then I see the Apple logo and I do not need my fake happy face, because I am jumping up and down like a ridiculously happy woman.

Because... I have always wanted an iPad.  I admit it... oh the shame!  Perhaps all these years I shuddered in jealousy as nine year old tote the technology I have always wanted.  I even, ironically, have used the kids to try to sell the idea to my man in the past with logical arguements like, we travel a lot honey, don't you think an iPad would make the airplane easier!  I am always the one with the kids, you always nap!

So... how do I save face now....

Well, for starters, this iPad will be the only one and they still cannot have unsupervised Internet access.  I limit the amount of time spent on any technology.  So, I guess, like with the TV and the computer, I have house rules that keep their use in perspective and in moderation.  We might have nice technology, but I expect them to take advantage of the yard, the park, the pools, books and other real world activities.  I assume every family determines what role technology can play and regulates it... sooo maybe I have not lost face, but gained an ipad.

The iPad rocks: 

Travel:  My middle child spent two plane rides playing various apps.  Mostly a free doodle app.  She did not complain once!  There was no marker mess.  In the past we have used markers and crayons (which means I spend the whole time picking up the ones they drop), plus getting it all back in our bags to switch flights.  My man and I could watch our shows in bed at my parents house or at a hotel, after the kids fell alseep.  I could take a quick photo w/o my larger, heavier camera to record a travel moment.


Everyday use:  Email, calendar, alarm clock, journal, music, radio, TV shows, educational apps, game apps, blog, reading, shopping, grocery listing, online classes, and of course everyday photo journalism...

In short, long live the wonderful iPad!

Cooking in the Afternoon

It is funny, if I look back on my life there are many roles I might have known I would be: for instance, I knew I would be a wife and a mother.  I do not know if that was a genetic predisposition or just too much prime TV, maybe I can blame Disney princess movies?  I just knew that to be happy I would want to be juggling a baby on one hip and writing a blog post with my other hand (or something like that).  On the other hand, I did not know that I would be a modern Betty Crocker.

Homemaking was not really something I put much thought into (much less cooking), parenting yes, homemaking, no.  Where the discontinuity happened, I do not know.  I blame the 1980s for exaggerating what the modern woman could/would be.  As a woman I am not liberated from the kitchen, instead I practically live in it. If I had a full time job then I am sure I would be in the kitchen for all my 'free time'.  Ha, free time.

As I write (again, one handed) I have muffins in the oven and onions sauteing on the stove top.  I will be making risotto from scratch for lunch, muffins from scratch for the kids lunches and snacks, and chicken soup more or less from scratch for dinner.  Thanks to the gluten free diet, eating out is out and so is making anything remotely processed.  Oy.  At least I have not started growing my own food, yet.  ;-)

I became a mom in my early twenties and I guess I assumed along with my progesterone and estrogen increases I would download the ability to cook yummy, nutritious meals for my family by the time my first daughter was born, as well as, the stamina to get that meal on the table every night.  However, once my first little baby started eating solids I found myself up a creek without a paddle.  I barely was keeping up with nightly meals that were edible, by the time my second daughter was born  I found myself calling my mom and my mother-in-law for cooking tips and recipes, watching the food network and reading magazines.  I still do. 

By the time my girls started school I was catching up.  I had dinners ready, they tasted good, I still needed help from my moms, but my husband was enjoying dinner at our house quite a bit.  I was good at mac n cheese, fried chicken, BBQ chicken, salmon and we has mastered our burrito nights.  Then Celiac Disease hit.  And I had to learn how to cook all over again.

The difference in learning to cook my second time around was everything had to be done creatively, everything had to be fresh, not only were the night out breaks over, but processed food on nights when I was exhausted were also out.  And yet here is when learning to cook became fun  Perhaps because I felt no pressure to know what I was doing.  Re-learning to cook on a gluten free diet I was allowed to stumble through recipes, fail and try again.

I never ever would have seen myself as a full time, short order cook, but I find myself in the kicthen night and day: making old recipes, trying new ones, tweaking and creating tasty treats.  I still pop out inedible dishes for old times sake, but the kitchen and I have learned to be friends and I actually find myself gravitating towards it when I am bored to make gluten free desserts.  To be fair... sometimes I am not sure it is the gluten free diet or the desserts that eventually aided my truce with the kitchen and I.  Doesn't matter much now though...

Home sweet home

Time to redo the book cases, the fireplace and get the popcorn ceilings down!

My man got home from work yesterday with arm loads of construction materials.  We now have two vehicles that would aid in his projects ( a jeep and large SUV).  I need to find a picture of our old Toyota Avalon with 2X4s strapped to the top.  That poor old car got so abused being stuffed with different building supplies!  I remember driving to pick up the girls from school and having to go extra slow over speed bumps, because the trunk would not always latch shut.  Oy vey! 

 

Anyway, my man stated the other day "we have lived here for almost one month and I have not started any projects."  He said this dismayed.  It was a what-is-wrong-with-me? moment.  I had a similar feeling the other day, as I have finished unpacking boxes, I felt restless. Sure enough we now have a project.  And we both feel very liberated.

 

We are the happiest when we are visualizing a plan and getting ready to put it in motion.  My man usually does the physical demanding work, demolition, plus heavy lifting, but I usually pitch in with the finer work, mudding, textorizing, grouting, painting, laying down tile and clean up.  We both feel huge pride in our finished projects.  For us, home is where we can freely play with our creative sides.

 

Book and Co-sleeping

Thrilled to have my little man asleep in his crib.  Mommy gets one hour of time to write!

Getting the little man into his crib is easy in the morning.  He takes a great AM nap that I can use for writing (and is more often used for housework).  At night he still seems to prefer co-sleeping.  The choice to co-sleep in America is often looked down on.  This reminds me of a book I am currently reading... 

 

I am reading How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm:  And Other Adventures in Parenting (from Argentina to Tanzania and everywhere in between) by Mei-Ling Hopgood.  Hopgood moves to Buenos Aires, Argentina in 2004 and is shocked by the cultural differences in child rearing practices.  She is particularly fascinated by the difference in bedtimes.  In Argentina many children go to bed late and get up late.  "I'm constantly blow away when friends tell me that their toddlers usually snooze until nine or ten o'clock in the morning and complain when little ones wake up at an outrageous seven thirty.  Society doesn't get moving until around eight, long after many Americans would have already hit the gym, showered, and made their way to work. "  (Hopgood, p 19).  This is a habit that is formed, because the children are brought along to most social events.  "In Buenos Aires, the social lives of adults and children blend rather fluidly.  Despite the fact that most middle- to upper-class parents have the kind of access to babysitters that many Americans can only dream of (child care is much cheaper), they don't hesitate to ditch the nanny and bring the kids along, especially if it's a family event.  Most Argentines-even single and childless folks- don't seem to think of little ones a a drag in many group settings.  On the contrary, they believe children add a certain lightness, humor, and even hope."  (Hopgoods, p 10).   

 

The difference in her new homelands family practices inspire her to embark on a mission to research and share different cultural styles of parenting.  This book explores cross cultural differences in parental styles much like the ethnography style documentary Babies in 2010.  In the film four infants are followed in their first year of life.  The infants are from the rural societies Namibia and Mongolia, as well as, two infants from urban societies in Japan and the United States.  The differences and similarities in parental styles are fascinating to watch and read about.  In all circumstances children are raised from birth with the values of the society there are in thrust upon them.  As my midwife pointed out over the summer, the best part of the film Babies is the end, when all the babies reach the same developmental milestones regardless of parental practices.  The stories in the book, the research Hopgood undertakes, the infants first year in the movie babies... it leaves the questioning, "what is the right way to raise a child?"  Or, "Is there a right way to raise a child?"  What do different parental  practices say about a culture...

 

"The parental practices we follow in the West are merely cultural constructions that have little to with what is 'natural' for babies.  Our cultural rules are, in fact, designed to mold a certain kind of citizen.  A !Kung San woman of Botswana, for example, carries her baby at all times.  She lets the baby breast-fed... 'on demand.'  A San child would never be left to sleep alone.  In contrast, American babies, for example, are often set in plastic seats or in strollers for long periods of time; they feel on a prescribed schedule; and the accepted rule is for each baby to have a bed, if not a private room to itself.  In general, the two styles reflect the pale of person within society."  (Hopgood, p.4) 

 

The first chapter of Hopgood's book explores life in Buenos Aires and sleep habits.  She interviews Western doctors, professors and Argentine doctors and parents.  She includes fun stories about friends, as well as, her experiences with her own daughter.  I enjoyed her research into sleep patterns, what constitutes a healthy sleep pattern for children, as well as, keeping culturally relevant, by embracing what works best for different cultures and family arrangements.  Her support of co-sleeping as a healthy sleep habit that is quite broad in European and Eastern cultures, as well as, tribal and nomadic cultures. 

 

Co-sleeping is naturally interesting to me, because it is how I have been raising children.  Though I fell into co-sleeping out of need for functionality, I love the sense of community and security it has created for my children.  I would like if my little man spent at least the first part of every night in his own bed, giving me time to shower (ha!); however, I feel as if I am nurturing his mind and sense of security letting him sleep beside his father and I at night.

 

I look forward to quoting this book more on the blog... my one hour of writing is up!

 

Happy Tuesday

 

Gluten Free Friendly Friends and Cookies!

Today my middle child went to a Cupcake Birthday Party.  Not really ideal for a gluten free family.  15 plus children in the kitchen with gluten flour is a pretty frightening concept for us; however,  I will never say no to a birthday party, no matter how scary it may be for us gluten free people.  I told my daughter she may make the gluten cupcakes, but would have to wash very well.  I told her I could provide her with a gluten free cupcake to eat later on. 

I did not need to do that, because the mom in charge made the party gluten free friendly for my daughter!  This is magic for our family.  To be fully included is a wonderful feeling.  Not to mention very handy for me - no more making a whole batch of my own cupcakes every party.  This is the second gluten free friendly Birthday Party we have been to this month!  The second!  We are having an awesome month.  Thank you to our friends for making your special days inclusive! 

To celebrate I will post another awesome gluten free product:



www.WOWbaking.com

Our new Hy-Vee grocery store has a very encompassing gluten free section. We found these WOW Snickerdoodle Cookies the other day and the girls and I LOVE them! I enjoy the taste and soft chewy texture, as well as, the inclusion of milk and egg. Often with gluten free products manufactures’ try to hit a larger consumer base by excluding milk, soy, eggs, nuts etc. This is great for people with multiple allergies, but those who are only intolerant of gluten it can mean less healthy snacking. So, though these are desserts, I like to see that there is some substance.

In fact, WOW Baking Company boosts the usage of real butter, real vanilla, Organic Cane Juice and the exclusion of artificial flavors, hydrogenated oils, trans fats and refined sugars.  WOW Baking Company is a Certified Gluten Free company.

Happy Saturday!

Sleep

Missed a couple days, due to sleep deprivation! Now that we have three bedrooms on the same level I am trying to move the little man into his own room. I have a new found respect for parents that have their babies in separate rooms.

 

When we had our oldest daughter we lived in a one bedroom apartment.  We were after all still students, or graduated by a month.  Our apartment was tiny and the walls were paper thin. My man and I had a great time listening into our neighbors arguments. On the flip side, Beezus had to be in our room, AND she had to be quiet; otherwise, our neighbor could complain, the manager would find out we had her and kick us out. Of course she happened to be my most colicky child yet. This led to lots of singing and rocking and not much sleeping at all. I eventually broke down and let her sleep in my bed. The most amazing thing happened, she just plain stopped crying. She slept like an angel and only woke up for feedings, which I could also do in bed. I went from no sleep, almost passing out while nursing, to getting full nights sleep!  I did not set out to be a co-sleeping parent, but out of necessity that is what I became.  Now I am an advocate of co-sleeping.  I love co-sleeping and if you take the right precautions it is not dangerous.  That being stated, I do not have to have my little man in my room AND I would love to get him to sleep in our hardly ever used crib.  Thus I have been spending a lot of nights passing his room, swaying him, shushing him and trying to get him to sleep in his bed.  I have been moderately successful. 

 

Right before bedtime I have created a routine in which I give my little man a baby massage.  I get out the baby lavender lotion (supposedly the lavender should relax him and make him sleepy) and I massage his legs.  He smiles and gurgles.  He really seems to enjoy it.  The main purpose is to give him a clue it is bedtime.  Train him into sleep with familiar smells and routines.  Ideally, a psychological Pavlov’s dog trick.    

 

Well, not only have this actually started to help, but last night when he was feeling sleepy he reached for the lotion bottle.  I had lost track of time and sure enough it was 7:30.  I try to get him started on his routine no later than that.

 

Of course, he just loves massage and laughs whenever he sees the  bottle during the day.

Good Morning World!

Glad we got outside to play on Friday, because the word of the day is SNOW... and Cold.  The high for today is 10°F and the low -9°F!  Right now we are a crisp 7°F.  The extremes of South Dakota living, we were 30°F yesterday.  So, yes we did drop 20 degrees in one day, probably more, since we were high 30s yesterday.  AND we get a wind chill as icing on our chilly cake.  When I say our blood is thicker, that is exactly what it is, physiologically.

My oldest in Spring 2012 on a wonderful family vacation!  We all got to swim with and kiss dolphins.

Week Highlight:

My little girl is growing up, or so she reminds me everyday.  And as she grows older her tastes become more refined: pink is out, flowers, hearts and princesses are passe and, as per usual, her bedtime is far too early.  Add to this the other ways I am limiting her maturity: for instance she will be quick to tell you I don't let her watch cable TV or play online.  She is experimenting with asserting a fledgling identity, which often seems to directly contrast my wishes, desires and pre-established house rules.  I am sure Freud has opinions on this, but thankfully he is dead. 

I am learning to adjust to my daughter while also struggling to formulate an identity as a mother of a preteen.  I am learning how to react without being dismissive, to have patience I am not sure I possess, have empathy when frustration feels more close to the surface and assert, and reassert constantly, boundaries and house rules.  I have to remind myself that I am a good mother for going against the peer pressure caused by the, sometimes, more permissive parenting styles of her friends - even if it feels horrible.  Of course, I know, now better than ever, as my oldest daughter and I enter into the fog of her adolescence, neither of us know which way to go and how to get her out intact.  We are in it together, and I hope she knows that, I hope we manage to only strengthen our bond as mother and daughter... I know that is hoping for a lot.

There are moments I still get to see my little girl surface.  Rare as the moments are I truly cherish them.  This week, though I will keep the details off the Internet, my daughter had a moment of pure joy.  By pure I simply mean it was such a good and consuming moment for her she forgot who she was supposed to be, who she is striving to become and instead just was who she has always been.  She found a moment so humorous she laughed with her nose crinkled, grabbing her belly, her mouth open, her eyes squinted shut and simply giggled, and giggled totally unaware of herself and became completely present in the moment.  It was magical to watch her exist without worries for a brief couple minutes.  And I could see, only the way a mother can, the toddler from years before rolling on the ground laughing.

I guess it is one of those moments you think you might never see, like a 40°F day in the middle of January South Dakota winter. 

Happy Sunday Morning!