Book and Co-sleeping

Thrilled to have my little man asleep in his crib.  Mommy gets one hour of time to write!

Getting the little man into his crib is easy in the morning.  He takes a great AM nap that I can use for writing (and is more often used for housework).  At night he still seems to prefer co-sleeping.  The choice to co-sleep in America is often looked down on.  This reminds me of a book I am currently reading... 

 

I am reading How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm:  And Other Adventures in Parenting (from Argentina to Tanzania and everywhere in between) by Mei-Ling Hopgood.  Hopgood moves to Buenos Aires, Argentina in 2004 and is shocked by the cultural differences in child rearing practices.  She is particularly fascinated by the difference in bedtimes.  In Argentina many children go to bed late and get up late.  "I'm constantly blow away when friends tell me that their toddlers usually snooze until nine or ten o'clock in the morning and complain when little ones wake up at an outrageous seven thirty.  Society doesn't get moving until around eight, long after many Americans would have already hit the gym, showered, and made their way to work. "  (Hopgood, p 19).  This is a habit that is formed, because the children are brought along to most social events.  "In Buenos Aires, the social lives of adults and children blend rather fluidly.  Despite the fact that most middle- to upper-class parents have the kind of access to babysitters that many Americans can only dream of (child care is much cheaper), they don't hesitate to ditch the nanny and bring the kids along, especially if it's a family event.  Most Argentines-even single and childless folks- don't seem to think of little ones a a drag in many group settings.  On the contrary, they believe children add a certain lightness, humor, and even hope."  (Hopgoods, p 10).   

 

The difference in her new homelands family practices inspire her to embark on a mission to research and share different cultural styles of parenting.  This book explores cross cultural differences in parental styles much like the ethnography style documentary Babies in 2010.  In the film four infants are followed in their first year of life.  The infants are from the rural societies Namibia and Mongolia, as well as, two infants from urban societies in Japan and the United States.  The differences and similarities in parental styles are fascinating to watch and read about.  In all circumstances children are raised from birth with the values of the society there are in thrust upon them.  As my midwife pointed out over the summer, the best part of the film Babies is the end, when all the babies reach the same developmental milestones regardless of parental practices.  The stories in the book, the research Hopgood undertakes, the infants first year in the movie babies... it leaves the questioning, "what is the right way to raise a child?"  Or, "Is there a right way to raise a child?"  What do different parental  practices say about a culture...

 

"The parental practices we follow in the West are merely cultural constructions that have little to with what is 'natural' for babies.  Our cultural rules are, in fact, designed to mold a certain kind of citizen.  A !Kung San woman of Botswana, for example, carries her baby at all times.  She lets the baby breast-fed... 'on demand.'  A San child would never be left to sleep alone.  In contrast, American babies, for example, are often set in plastic seats or in strollers for long periods of time; they feel on a prescribed schedule; and the accepted rule is for each baby to have a bed, if not a private room to itself.  In general, the two styles reflect the pale of person within society."  (Hopgood, p.4) 

 

The first chapter of Hopgood's book explores life in Buenos Aires and sleep habits.  She interviews Western doctors, professors and Argentine doctors and parents.  She includes fun stories about friends, as well as, her experiences with her own daughter.  I enjoyed her research into sleep patterns, what constitutes a healthy sleep pattern for children, as well as, keeping culturally relevant, by embracing what works best for different cultures and family arrangements.  Her support of co-sleeping as a healthy sleep habit that is quite broad in European and Eastern cultures, as well as, tribal and nomadic cultures. 

 

Co-sleeping is naturally interesting to me, because it is how I have been raising children.  Though I fell into co-sleeping out of need for functionality, I love the sense of community and security it has created for my children.  I would like if my little man spent at least the first part of every night in his own bed, giving me time to shower (ha!); however, I feel as if I am nurturing his mind and sense of security letting him sleep beside his father and I at night.

 

I look forward to quoting this book more on the blog... my one hour of writing is up!

 

Happy Tuesday