A new gluten free year starts!
There is always a lot to prepare at the beginning of a new school year. The parent in charge of back-to-school organizing might quickly go from relief that the summer of rowdy children is ending, to being overwhelmed with the large list of to-dos and the short amount of time to get that list done!
All us harried parents hit the same rush at our local target; fighting though isles, grabbing number two pencils, erasers, scissors, folders, crayola markers, crayons, colored pencils, earphones and zip drives!?! We try to find the right prices, since it adds up, and then we come home and label, figure out what we forgot, and start all over again. We hit the fist open house and deal with the first day rush and jitters. Figure out our new lines in the mornings and the new spots to meet at the end of school.
Having a daughter with Celiacs Disease usually means having a bit extra stacked on my plate. It is no longer just the school supply list, new meeting spot after school and an open house. Now it is time to meet a new teacher and come up with a new plan to approach my daughter’s alternative dietary needs. I need to know that I can make the classroom a safe environment for my daughter. For me there is a lot of anxiety trying to delicate balance with the new teacher relationship good with clear communication while imposing the seriousness of Beezus’s eating restrictions, needs, and routines. I need to be able to educate the teacher, provide her with resources and support. I need to hope that she will support me as well.
Here are some strategies I am utilizing and constantly adjusting to work with school staff:
•Introduce myself at the open house, being open and frank about CD – Beezus’s teacher may as well know the fist night that her and I will be talking often.
•Emailing a pre-fabricated letter addressing what CD is, where gluten can be found, and what the complications are from gluten ingestion. A good educational resource.
•Provide a list of alternative snacks – gives the teacher and the other parents a resource to work with in planning out snack and treats. I prefer to only give information for pre-packaged snacks to reduce the risk of cross contamination.
•Turn in the appropriate paper work to the school – a doctor’s signature will validate the diagnosis and encourages the school to take the diagnosis seriously.
•I have a freezer full of cupcakes needing only frosting for last minute birthday treats – I always hope I will be lucky enough to get a call letting me know there will be a birthday celebration.
•I drop off a bag of prepackaged treats at the school. Beezus has learned to rely on the teacher having a supply of Hershey’s candy bars. It relieves her of anxiety and reassures me she will not be handed anything she can not eat.
•I stress to the teacher and my daughter that she needs to wash her hands before she eats and she needs to eat over a clean napkin.
Though forming a working relationship with the teacher can be difficult at times – it is the most important to-do on my list every year. Good communication and understanding with the school is imperative. After I complete my to-do list, I cross my fingers and send my daughter to school hoping that she is careful and her teacher is supporting our efforts!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Life is a highway...
... no a roller coaster, no a carnival, well whatever it is count me in!
Happy people believe there is a meaning to everything that happens. They have an attitude that no matter what is going right or wrong in their lives it is constantly leading them to a preordained purpose. It does not require religious or spiritual faith – just a general feeling that whatever road we are on is the one we are supposed to be on.
We need to let go of the concept of controlling our destinations. I find this, though essential, easier said than done. We do not need to worry about the deviations we may take from our well laid intentions! This is not to say, that we should not plan our futures, just not rigidly. We need to know that the economy, if nothing else, will stifle our flow on occasion.
Perhaps the economy will take a couple bleeding heart liberals, with loose, hippie concepts of spirituality, a love of strategy board games, a zeal for bar hopping and put them in the Midwest! Like us. ;-)
However, there is purpose even to our relocation. For instance, my man and I have never had so many nights together to create a routine for our family that is free of male friends and their LAN PC gaming parties. Being in the Midwest with limited amicable weather has stirred a desire to travel whenever we are free of tornado warnings, thunder storms, flooding and snow. I find us taking more advantage of local events like state fairs, ribfests, concerts, renaissance faires, zoos, museums, festivals… and really anything that the state has to offer. Our children are lucky to be in an amazing school district – not because we had to look hard – the schools out here are just plain good. The quality of life is off the charts. I miss the people of CA, the trees, hills and ocean, but I am not sure I would go back.
What I have learned about change…
Happiness, as well as success, is rooted in our attitudes and our attitudes are rooted in how we perceive our circumstances and adjust. Life is after all one long act of adjustment. It is dynamic! I am glad to learn from this relocation, I am glad to learn an important skill of adjustment and, strangely, I am glad to be in the Midwest.
Give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other. ~ Reinhold Niebuhr
Have a great Saturday!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuna Fish Pancakes GF
Tuna Fish Pancakes GF Style!
I can truly appreciate the scents of my childhood home now that I no longer live within ten miles of the town I grew up. Olfactory explicit memory is an articulately potent and effective way to reminisce. Thus when Ramona refused to eat the standard, banal meal I had prepared this morning (eggs sunny side up or as we call them, “sunny eggs”) I dragged out an archived, but favorite recipe from my childhood... tuna fish pancakes! I am revamping them to gluten free style. These were a staple for me when I was growing up and nothing brings me back quite like that fried tuna scent filling the house. They are not everyone's shtick, my man is not a fan, but I love them.
The largest benefit to the tuna fish pancake recipe is how simple they are to make. They are packed with flavor, without having to add endless spices, and kids can help make them easily. A trick I use on occasion to get my kids to eat something new. I find that when they are involved in the process they are always more prone to eating the product.
Ingredients:
1 – 5oz can of tuna fish
2 tablespoons GF bread crumbs or gluten free pancake mix
1 egg beaten
This is the base. Adding Onion powder, pepper or salt to taste is optional. With kids I do not add much.
Directions:
Fry them in a pan with vegetable oil on medium heat till each side is a golden brown.
I used Pamela’s pancake mix. I wanted the nutty taste (almonds), but I felt that the tuna fish pancakes came out to thick and bread-y. I will next time actually make bread crumbs from Udi’s sandwich bread and see how that turns out.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Phft, Spelling!
A Dialogue between Beezus and I:
We are entering the humid, dark garage that has boxes piled up in the second car spot, boxes in the open loft, and boxes piled in front of our car. We are in a rush to get my man from work, because we still have only one car and I am our personal family taxi!
Beezus: Mom I am scared.
Mom: (I'm in a rush, opening the kids car door, throwing my purse on the passenger side seat.) Of what? (I turn to see Beezus still in the door way.) Beezus get out here and get into the car.
Beezus: (Taking a couple steps down into the garage and towards the car.) I'm scared of the garage. I don't like how dark it is.
Mom: Well, get into the car a little faster then. (A couple minutes later - as we are bucking up.) Yeah, the garage scares me too.
Beezus: Why?
Mom: The mess.
Beezus: Why would the mess be so scary?
Mom: Because I will have to clean it and I bet no one is going to help me. (This is me hinting. Hint, hint, hint!)
Beezus: I am scared because when I see all those boxes I think a monster is hiding behind them. (Obviously she is missing the hint for help cleaning).
Mom: I would love to find a monster in there!
Beezus: Why?
Mom: Because then that big, strong monster will help me clean all those heavy boxes up in this hot garage. And then the monster will be like, "Geeze, Miss, you are so young, beautiful, smart and kind. So what if spelling and grammer are foreign concepts! And, I bet you cook swell. Would you make me a dinner for helping you clean the garage?" And then I will be like, "Sure". Then after dinner he will be like, "Gosh, you are the best cook in the whole world. Thank you so much for dinner". (That is me hinting again, for thanks and help).
Beezus: I don't know mom. I think the monster would just eat you. (Not catching my hint, again.)
Mom: Phft.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Love takes laughter!
Every few months I ask my man what he loves about me. I know that men groan when they think of this question. It is one reason why men are annoying. My man always looks very perplexed and nervous when I ask him this question, but I feel that if he can not plan ahead a list for when I ask next, which empirically I do, there is no compelling reason to pity him.
Really it is him struggling to affirm his love for me with specific character traits, fond memories and grandiosely appreciating my beauty that eats away at me for a couple months and leads to the cycle of me asking again. Obviously if he did love me he would proclaim it passionately and poetically. Hollywood has taught me that I should always expect this kind of behavior from love.
In any case, once he looked me directly in the eye and said “Well, it certainly is not your sense of humor”.
He pulls off deadpan well. This answer is to instigate me. Another question I nag him about is “Don’t you think I’m funny?” He always says “No” and then I pout. I think he is lying to get at me, but I can not tell… which is why I ask so often.
He has tried other diversion tactics to my love question. One of these tactics was very smart, as it totally took me off guard and stumped me. He asked me “what do you love about me?” I felt a little tricked and irritated. However, I read a lot, watch a lot of romantic comedies and improvise well. Thus, I did survive the turn around and… most importantly adapted. I prepared a whole list of things I love, not to mention elaborate and romantic ways to embellish them. The second time he confidently tried this particular diversion to my question I began my well groomed list. I enjoyed the look of naked fear that spread across his face. My man witnessed his plan not only back fire, but made my inquiry of love that much worse, because now it is a competition.
And I find that this is very funny. This I think also establishes that I have a wicked sense of humor.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Forgiveness a skill
Today is Worldwide Forgiveness Day. I did not know there was a national forgiveness day – but it is a great time to think about forgiveness and the role it plays in happiness!
We know that 40% of happiness is within our ability to create, thanks to social psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky. It is understood that forgiveness is a necessary element of happiness in our lives.
In Christine Carter's book, within the same chapter as gratitude, there is a segment on forgiveness and anger. Carter starts the segment with a Buddhist proverb which I enjoy:
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. - Buddha
Carter says that “forgiving people tend to be happier, healthier, and more empathic…” while “researchers find that unforgiving people tend to he hateful, angry, and hostile – making them anxious, depressed, and neurotic as well.” If I had to make a choice I would rather be the empathetic and happy individual. I think we all would.
Carter addressed the correlation between rumination and forgiveness. When a transgression has occurred between people the parties experience forms of rumination. The hurt parties (usually all involved parties are hurt) display rumination in different ways, they might play the event over and over in their mind or focus their attention towards revenge. Both these forms of ruminations are a sign that forgiveness has not occurred. Carter states that rumination causes “us (to) feel out of control, angry, sad, anxious”. Common sense prevails – if you are angry, focusing on negative emotions like revenge and bitterness, you can not expect to be happy. Happiness means focus on positive emotions.
I found this tibit interesting and hope others do too. Forgiveness is not logical! Sort of paraphrased there. :-) Studies show that the areas of the brain that formulate forgiveness are not the “areas of the cortex associated with reasoning and judgment” (Carter, p73). Instead the areas that register forgiveness are in the limbic system – which is the system correlated with empathy. Therefore, “the best way to activate the forgiveness area of the limbic system is empathy – not reason” (Carter, p73).
In “Forgiveness: Theory, Research, and Practice” by Michael E. McCullough, Kenneth I. Pargament, Carl E. Thoresen the positive affects of the act of forgiveness neurologically speaking are a decrease in the sympathetic nervous system or an increase in the parasympathetic nervous system.
Thus forgiveness is healthy mentally, physically, decreasing chances of heart disease AND can make us happier!
However, forgiveness can be a confusing topic as it is not only hard to do, but often people think forgiveness means forgetting, absolving wrongs or continuing hurtful relationships. Forgiveness is meant for the individual forgiving. It frees our minds of carrying heavy stress, cyclying negative emotions and gives us room to move on to experience our life more fully and process positive emotions.
I personally have made errors in forgiveness. It is a tricky skill learning to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean continuing friendships that are unhealthy - it means walking away gracefully.
Because forgiveness is a tough skill here it takes practice. So practice it.
More on forgiveness:
The Choice to Forgive
Is Forgiveness Possible
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