First Spring Storm, sort if...

We have had a pretty long winter. It had plenty of snow and cold, not as bad as past winters. The snow never stuck to the ground long enough to become very high - usually melted off and snowed again a week later, just to repeat the process. The wind chill was not as bad as past years, but the length in cold spells might have been worse. Mostly the winter has lasted a really long time. We got some to have some breaks and ran out to enjoy them. I think I posted each break. For instance, last week was beautiful, and the girls and I walked a full three miles. I tried to walk to pick up as often as e weather would allow. The girls love that we can walk to and from their school.

Anyway, we are back to storming. Last night my whole family was woken repeatedly by wind, rain, hail and general South Dakota noises. This morning as my girls got ready for school our home was pelted by frozen rain and hail. As I rushed them out the door, with my man, I warned them to go directly to the car, no goofing off. We crowded around the cold doorway and waited for a break in the ugly down pour, then they ran for the car.

Well, to be more articulate my youngest, and my worrier, ran to the car. She is quick to assume she might die getting there. I always have to clarify to her, I promise you are not going to die.

Today the exact quote, you are not going to die, you just need to move kind of quickly so you do not get rained on.

In which she replied, hail can break car windshields.

To which I had to reply, the car wind shield is not going to break. See there is not even hail happening right now.

Of course she refused to move without her father holding her hand and when he was taking too much time she made a run for it, slamming her car door shut when she was safely inside. She is blessed with an ample amount of drama in her genes.

My oldest is a whole different story. She dragged her feet watching the ground. I have no idea what she was thinking plodding along like that. I would put my money on the fact that the ground was crunchy with ice. The noise and different texture no doubt called to her senses. And it was my turn to worry she would take so much time the hail would start up again. My oldest has always been rather oblivious to the world. She did understand the weather was not ideal and insisted on finding protective head gear before leaving the house - which, as it turned out in her mind was a Saint Patricks Day hat we wore to the parade this year. Luckily for my oldest daughter it was nice and clear for the entire duration of her slow march to the car. I was relieved when her sister opened her car door and scooted over instead of fighting.

And so welcomed the Spring Storms.

I took some photos for my mother to see the damaged foliage in our yard. It is wild!

The little man asleep in the stroller on our way to get the girls.
I did not realize his hat fell in his face.  Oops.

Living in the Midwest has taught me, above all, nature calls the shots.  And Mother Nature sucks.  One day it is a clear, blue sky and the temperature has risen above freezing.  Rejoice, throw on your shoes and your jacket, grab your kids and dog and run for the backyard.  Don't walk, run.  There have been days that start out nice (nice now means above freezing people) and that same day can end in snow or thunder.  Mother nature does not have to make sense.

In any case, recently we had a few good days.  I almost did not make the kids go for a walk, I almost let fatigue win.  The Californian in me saw the sun and only registered a simple, Ah, now that is how it should be.  The South Dakotan in me started hysterically screaming Get outside, do it now!  Run, play, be free!  

I shook off that laid back Californian persona, snapped back into my Midwest reality - it occurred to me that with the Spring comes thunder storms, tornado warnings, sometimes flash floods and  always an annoying amount of wind!  And, let us not forget the summer follows with triple digit heat and hot wind.  So frack staying indoors kids - I might be running on almost no sleep - as the little man might actually be teething for real - but we need to get outside and move it!

In the last few days the kids and I have been taking advantage of the yard.  Our dog has been doing the same, chasing the ducks and cats, and playing with our neighbors dogs.  I have walked to the school to pick my girls up - I figure it is time to get back in shape.  One day I not only walked the quarter mile to pick up the girls, but then we walked a mile and half to the library and a mile and a half back!  I was so proud of my little troopers.  We trudged along, returned books, checked out new books and worked our legs out.  The little man mostly just slept in his stroller.

It is looking like this week we are in for some rain, and possibly even snow, blech - but last week we got out of the house... so this week we can paint some more walls I guess.

Have a Great Week People!

Family Dinner Traditions: Kids Teach Mom & Dad

A couple years ago I started a ritual at the dinner table of saying what we are grateful for – I have posted about this frequently since then.  This ritual turned into a great family tradition that had helped my family and I learn how we are lucky.  It has re-worked our brains to see the wonders in life, small or large, and to mindfully notice them. 

It is time to add something new!  This last month we added to our dinner time routine.  One night a week the children present something they are learning in school to us.  They get to teach us about it.  (To make it fair we also teach something about our day).

Ideally this new practice should help my children:

• Overcome shyness in presenting by practicing once a week with family.
• As many of my teachers have pointed out over the years when you teach something you learn it even better - ideally whatever my children teach to my man and I at the dinner table will become more robust in their own minds. 
• I hope this increases their confidence and...
• I hope it gives them the floor in the family at least once a week - a special time when they get everyones attention and respect.  A rare commodity in a family with multiple children, and even rarer after a baby is born.

Beezus sharing a story with
our little man!

The first night we tried this is like the first night we try anything new.  I make my rounds earlier in the evening.  I always pre-warn my oldest daughter of my plan.  It helps her expect it ahead of time, think it over and, in her case, come up with ways she will not participate.  I pre-warn my second child, knowing she will look forward to new event, especially when it means having the center stage.  Then I prepare myself. 

To ensure anything succeeds in my family I usually have about five different back up plans ready at my disposal.  I find joy in combining in plans organization of my home.  Luckily for me one of my back up plans utilizes the papers that get sent home from the school everyday, cluttering my house and putting me in the awkward position of deciding whether to keep these papers or throw them away.  In anticipation of my children failing to come up their own subject matter to teach at dinner time  I brought to the table school papers that they bring home (i.e. graded homework, in school writing and math sheets).

For once it did not take all five back up plans, plus negotiating, plus begging, plus threatening (in which ever order works the best).  The kids each choose their subject matter from the pile of different papers and went about 'teaching us'.  My Ramon choose to read one of her in class writing assignments.  It was great reading practice for her and she enjoyed it when we laughed at the funny parts.  My oldest read through her health homework worksheet about the heart.  We learned the heart beats 3 billion times in our life times and that the right side of the heart is smaller than the left side.

Friday nights are movie night at our house!
We have gluten free pizza and sit in our family room,
 cuddling close on our sofas!
 Movie night turned into Voyager or Star Trek Night in January. 
We crowd around our TV and watch Captain Jane Way
and her crew try to make it home from the Delta Quadrant. 
This leads to some pretty interesting photos
made from a doodling program on my ipad.

We got a bonus our first night - one thing our oldest daughter taught us was to quiz each other at the end of our presentation.  The presenter can ask three questions of the rest the family to check their listening skills.  Each right answer is worth ten points.  We have to hit the table if we think we know the answer and the first person to hit the table gets to answer the question.  Turns out this game made the entire teaching event fun!

Teaching night was a success and we did have it again this week.  A little of the newness wore off, but we will just keep at it till it becomes a routine that enriches our lives.

 

Happy Saturday!

Live long and prosper.

 

 

 

Food Anxiety

Ramona and I eating out in Mexico!  Not easy to do gluten free, but doable.  We are learned to overcome our food anxeities to make room for travel.  We still have a tough time with Ramona - who has only been gluten free for a little under a year and has a hard time watching other people have cake - but we make sure to have lots of gluten free ice cream.

I was sent a New York Times article today by a friend, The Allergy Buster: Can a Radical New Treatment Save Childre With Severe Allergies. The article discuses a de-sensitization therapy study being done by Dr/PhD Kari Nadeau, an associate professor of immunology and allergies at Sanford University School of Medicine and Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, for children with multiple severe allergies. The article hits close to home for us, living with multiple children with Celiac Disease, we face the same restricted diet lifestyle and anxieties as families with severe food allergies. I could relate to the first paragraph of the article which depicts a woman's life with her daughter’s numerous dietary restrictions including egg, dairy, wheat and shellfish allergies.

"For nine years, the greatest challenge Kim Yates Grosso faced each day was keeping her daughter Tessa safe. Tessa was so severely allergic to milk, wheat, eggs, nuts, shellfish and assorted other foods that as a toddler she went into anaphylactic shock when milk fell on her skin. Kim never left her with a baby sitter. She slept with her each night. And when she needed to work, she found a job she could do primarily from home in the evenings. She successfully lobbied the Menlo Park, Calif., school district to provide Tessa with a full-time aide (in accordance with the Americans With Disabilities Act) to shadow her at all times. She made all of Tessa’s food from scratch, including safe treats to bring to birthday parties, when she could persuade her daughter to attend them at all. Tessa never spent the night at a friend’s house — she didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in an unsafe environment. "

The article goes on the state that Kim gave up these foods as well joining her daughter in the restricted diet. Our entire house is gluten free and has been since my first daughter was diagnosed in 2009 with Celiac Disease. I made this choice, because I want my daughters’ home to be a safe haven from the gluten saturated world outside our doors. A place where both my daughters’ (the second now diagnosed as gluten intolerant) can feel comfortable, not on guard and never looking for a stray crumb or cross contaminated utensil.

Of course this article is addressing a cure, which is not relevant to Celiac Disease, but it sparks a discussion on the anxieties that all families face when their children are unable to partake in regular food activities.

I can distinctly remember one of the first BBQs we went to after my first daughter was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. It was a birthday BBQ at a community park for a close family friend.  The food was cooked on community grills (buns toasted on the same grills – who knows how many times).  The entire picnic table was strewn with gluten chips, bread buns, gluten dips, gluten bakery sweets - the typical all American celebratory foods at all social get-togethers.  Plates were every where, as well as, plastic forks and knives – knowing who belonged to what plate was not easily discernible.  

I remember being immediately overwhelmed.  This was not a sterile environment, there was food danger everywhere, how the hell was I supposed to even stake out a clean place for my daughter to eat her pre-prepared food!  I did not wanting her to sit at the table, but if she did, I established wanting her to sit next to me, where I hoped to contain the possibility of crumbs, double dips or even her accidently touching the outdoor table laden with contaminates.  The table was so crowded there was plenty of reaching over plates – and my anxieties peaked when I saw crumbs fall onto neighboring plates of party goers. 
 
I was overwhelmed by my first experience of a restricted diet in the chaotic real world food environment.   I learned quickly that not only would I content with food issues, but people issues as well.  A friend of mine became enraged when she thought I was moving my daughter from sitting next to her, to sitting next to me, assuming I was spiting her. Oye!  Apparently adults free of dietary restrictions might not understand the anxieties, not to mention real danger, my daughter and I were up against.   

I lost that friend, but I learned when your child is at risk you can only keep the friends who will support you as a parent, not act like children themselves.  Since then I still have my daughters sit next to, or even between my husband and I.  The rare times I have made exceptions I have regretted it, dealing with vomiting and children with stomach aches later on.  I have witnessed people encourage my children to play hand games even across the table at restaurants totally oblivious to having eaten pizza or bread with their hands only moments before or hand my daughter food from their hands right after touching their own food.  

Many family members and friends are well meaning and offer to help, but keeping a close eye on what my children consume is what I have trained myself for, and not something that is as easy as it might appear. Living on alert and with anxiety in social settings is an inherent part of being my daughters' mother. And it can feel exhausting to not only monitor my daughters’ food, but also their interactions.

The article hit on another aspect of a family ruled by fear of food, and that is the anxiety it causes the children.

"Tessa began having panic attacks. She no longer wanted to leave the house without her mother — even to go to school or diving practice. She was afraid to eat. “Her belief was, If I don’t eat, I can’t die,” Kim recalled in one of our many conversations over the last year. When Kim went away for the weekend, she returned to discover her daughter had eaten only one bowl of plain white rice in 48 hours. At school Tessa didn’t want to touch anybody or anything. What if at recess the kickball had rolled through a splash of milk or some bread crumbs in the courtyard where kids ate their lunches? Costly sessions with a child psychiatrist were of limited value. Treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorders like germ phobia teaches the sufferer to distinguish anxiety from reality, but the reality for a severely allergic child is that invisible trace contaminants can kill."

My children do not have to worry about anaphylactic shock; therefore, our anxieties are not quite as extreme, but the anxiety is there and coping with my childrens’ anxiety has a large learning curve.

I remember when I first moved to South Dakota... the winter had finally passed, we were meeting people, and we even had dinner plans with a new family - one I needed to get to know for my own sanity - social isolation can be a real thing right after a huge move.

My friend prepared a gluten free meal. After going over the brands and the way the meal was prepared I felt confident it was, in fact, safe for us to eat. However, I made a large mistake, I alleviated my own anxieties, but I did not consider how my daughter, only one year into her diet, would feel. She freaked out!  There were tears, hives on her face, she left the house entirely and crawled into our car to hide.  The whole table got to watch as she stalked out the kitchen door and right past the dining room window, past the barking dog and into our car where she slammed the door and laid down.  I felt devastated.  Here I want to make a new friend, she went out her way to make a nice meal, we could ALL eat and my daughter refused to sit at the table (cried in the office for a while) and then stalked out of the house – balking at the food the whole time.

The experience was mortifying and confusing for me. I admit, as an adult who really wanted to make a new friend, I might have been a bit irritated too. Lucky for me this is a woman that is a good friend; she understands kids having a few of her own and could laugh off the small (well, maybe large) scene my daughter was throwing. I was less accepting at the time. It took me a few days to see the event for what it was - my daughter was not used to the brands being used, she was still angry about her new 'limited' selection in foods and she did not feel comfortable eating in a new house. We had stopped eating out, stopped eating at friends’ houses, more or less stopped playdates, all to try to get the diet under control - my daughter in that moment was feeling out of control.  My daughter had a very real understanding of her diet, of the necessity of it for her health and a very real feeling of loss of a freedom of choice in her old diet. 

Needless to say, we had a lot of learning to do together and we have embraced learning to live with anxiety, developing strategies to handle that anxiety and continuing to expand our diet to better suit our needs.

Our anxieties have become more manageable with time, both from learning the ins and outs of gluten free living and finding the enjoyments it can provide too (like making pancakes every weekend and cupcakes).

I have found teaching my daughter to read the labels, wash her hands before she eats, ask the right questions and be more carefully to slowly, slowly branch out to new eating circumstances helps her.  Having a list of regular restaurants we are comfortable with helps keep consistency and gives us a place to go out too.  Keeping our table as gluten free as possible when dining out and always having a large bag of pre-prepared snacks for social outings – not relying ever entirely on our hosts relieves my children from the “what if I don’t like it?” scenario.  I also do not force my kids to eat at other people’s homes – I acknowledge the anxiety this creates is unrealistic for them to deal with just to be polite.

I imagine that we will continue to learn how to communicate our needs to others, deal with anxiety in social situations where food is a challenge, but we keep learning and are grateful to have great family and friends that are willing to learn with us.  J  

Heartland Gourmet Gluten Free Red Velvet Cupcakes

There are so many aspects of the gluten free lifestyle that are hard, but nothing compares to the complete isolation from the more broad food community.  I was reminded of this today when a man from my high school posted a highly gluten offensive snack on his facebook page - a snack we all ate during our morning recess.  A bun, stuffed with cheese and sausage.  A memory provoking snack for all high schoolers from our community, but also a painful reminder for some of us, that we are no longer able to eat the same treats as we did from our youth.  Within seconds he had many likes from former classmates and comments, all ecstatic to see a treat that propelled them into their youth.

It is time likes these I want to be careful to act with the grace I expect my daughters to use.  I know for the rest of the high school community this a great memory; therefore, I want them to enjoy the memory.  Yet, I need to take care of myself and my other gluten free community members struggling with the diet.  I walk to my pantry and find a snack that is gluten free, one I am building new memories with, one I can indulge in with my gluten free community  My food community is smaller now, but we do exist.  Sometimes the gluten free diet means being resilience to the innocent enjoyment of others... and a well stocked pantry with treats always helps!

Heartland Gourmet made today a little easier on me.  A Nebraska based, family owned, organic, vegan friendly,  gourmet baking mix company.  Heartland Gourmet also has demonstrated philanthropic efforts by donating 20% of all website orders on November 18th to the Red Cross of America for Hurricane Sandy victims.  They are a licensed USDA, FDA, and Certified Organic Manufacturing Facility; however, there is no present gluten free certification.  I made the Red Velvet Cupcake Mix for my daughters and they loved it!  Very easy, prep time is 10-20 minutes, cook time is 20 mintues.

I am finding that the only creative writing I ever do any more is when I respond to the letters my children bring home from school.

 

The school district here has children practice their writing by sending home a Friday Letter.   Every Friday each student free writes about their week at school. The parents read the letters over the weekend and respond to their child.  The child brings both letters back and reads them on Monday in class.

 

I love this system. The kids practice their writing- the parents get to hear from the kids in their own words, and respond creatively. I cherish these letters as they show both my children’s' personalities. For instance Ramona likes to write "guess what mom?" as a precursor to everything she finds interesting in school. Beezus on the other hand always writes addressing her animals and insists I write back as her animals with a sign off of "meow, meow" and "quack, quack" at the end of the letter. Therefore with Ramona I always say "that is so cool you did this in school" and with Beezus I find myself describing her cat’s mischief during the day (which is not hard to come up with – as her cat drives me nuts most days). I love knowing both my girls will smile when they read a little bit from me during their Monday.

 

So now, at 11pm on a Sunday, I have little to no time to update on our various adventures, because I covered the most important people first… I wrote my kids a couple great letters they can read tomorrow at school. 

 
Tomorrow I have a new cake mix I want to share!  And I hope to get a post out about traveling in Mexico as a Gluten Free Family!  In the mean time....

Happy Almost Monday!

IPad

I have been known to be down on the technology kids own today. Beezus comes home from school telling me all her friends have iPhones, iPads and iPod touches. I hope she is misunderstanding them. The idea of six to nine year olds with their own iPad makes me shudder. 

I remember my parents had a typewriter for writing until I hit middle school and email was new to me in high school (mid 1990s).  I also played outside after school and swam all summer long, rarely did I sit and watch TV.  I know this is typical when I was your age I had to walk to school in the snow!  technophobic thinking.  Or is it...

The obesity epidemic is indisputably known to be impacted by childrens' television time. Too many sedentary kids binge eating in front of technology.  Kids and adults are known to eat more in front of the TV and to eat less healthily.  Violent video games, movies and television are known to cause de-sensitization to violence in real life.  Images in magazines, music videos, advertisements, TV shows and movies lambaste our daughters with the role of what 'feminity' is by today's multi-billion dollar CEO industry standards.

In my own home I can think of more than a couple examples where movies, advertisements, video games and TV have impacted my daughters negatively.   Over the summer we did a lot of activities, but I was also a lot pregnant, so there was significantly more video game and media time in general.  My kids were exposed to Lego Harry Potter, Indiana Jones and Star Wars.  I felt safe knowing there was no blood (Legos just broke apart) and that there was a good deal of problem solving within the games.  However, you combine those video games with their movies counterparts and suddenly my kids are playing more violent pretend games, the females in their games get more and more sexy and helpless, and less, and less real.  I mean, how often, as a rather typical specimen of female, do I swoon around my house half naked and cry for some man to save me - try never.  Okay, let me stop there, because this where I get off track and start lecturing the world on feminism.

All this being stated... I love the iPad.  The iPad is awesome.  I know, I know, I should have prepared you more for my change of heart.  On the last night of Chanukah my man handed me a package, which looked a lot like a box of candy.   I love my man, I do, but often candy has nuts in it and I can only have a couple pieces of the non-nut chocolates, so I put it to the side while everyone else opened their Chanukah presents.  Well, at the end of the night my kids and my man turn to me and say, "you have not opened you present yet."  I put on my best face (the I-swear-I-will-look-grateful-and-happy-face) and start to unwrap a white box... and then I see the Apple logo and I do not need my fake happy face, because I am jumping up and down like a ridiculously happy woman.

Because... I have always wanted an iPad.  I admit it... oh the shame!  Perhaps all these years I shuddered in jealousy as nine year old tote the technology I have always wanted.  I even, ironically, have used the kids to try to sell the idea to my man in the past with logical arguements like, we travel a lot honey, don't you think an iPad would make the airplane easier!  I am always the one with the kids, you always nap!

So... how do I save face now....

Well, for starters, this iPad will be the only one and they still cannot have unsupervised Internet access.  I limit the amount of time spent on any technology.  So, I guess, like with the TV and the computer, I have house rules that keep their use in perspective and in moderation.  We might have nice technology, but I expect them to take advantage of the yard, the park, the pools, books and other real world activities.  I assume every family determines what role technology can play and regulates it... sooo maybe I have not lost face, but gained an ipad.

The iPad rocks: 

Travel:  My middle child spent two plane rides playing various apps.  Mostly a free doodle app.  She did not complain once!  There was no marker mess.  In the past we have used markers and crayons (which means I spend the whole time picking up the ones they drop), plus getting it all back in our bags to switch flights.  My man and I could watch our shows in bed at my parents house or at a hotel, after the kids fell alseep.  I could take a quick photo w/o my larger, heavier camera to record a travel moment.


Everyday use:  Email, calendar, alarm clock, journal, music, radio, TV shows, educational apps, game apps, blog, reading, shopping, grocery listing, online classes, and of course everyday photo journalism...

In short, long live the wonderful iPad!